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Confidence or Narcissism?

I would describe myself as a chronic introvert. I don't enjoy the limelight because of a combination of modesty and humbleness ingrained into me during childhood and personality-wise just shyness and awkwardness. I have observed many people during my life that I find have similar characteristics, and many people as well that are totally opposite, have no problem with conversation and are generally more extroverted and confident. Does that mean these people will be more successful than me?

To be successful (in anything), one must have belief in themselves and have a certain level of confidence about themselves. So we can assume this to be a key factor. Does that confidence need to shown externally? Or can it be an internal desire and passion that people don't know about?

In classrooms, for many years, children have been told about how special and unique they all are, and how we can do whatever we want and be whatever we want. I believe this to be the reason for a supposed generation of narcissists and 'snowflakes' (popular term going round). We are also told to love ourselves more, which I sort-of agree with, especially with the self-deprecating nature of the British! It's good to be modest, but sometimes it's better to accept the praise and credit with thanks.

I have always been realistic about my abilities. My achievements speak for themselves and my failures also speak for themselves. If I do well in something I will know I have worked hard in it and if I get a bad grade I will understand that it's because I didn't work hard enough and I can accept that. I also don't worry about adhering to social standards and as a result, I don't stress about things as much. As a child I rarely ever got what I wanted if there was a new toy or a console everyone had. I believe this helped me manage expectations and dissolve any sense of entitlement I may have had. However, I believe it has also had slightly detrimental effects too... At school, I rarely asked for help, even when I needed it badly. I always felt like I would be expecting too much of the teacher, wasting their time, and felt I was being selfish or entitled. In hindsight, it was very wrong of me to think this way.

In many ways, I wish I was more confident and extroverted, without bordering onto loving myself too much, being narcissistic and expecting everything, but keeping to my own personal expectations and being realistic.

I read somewhere that in order to be successful in something you shouldn't tell people about it; rather, keep it a secret. The reason for this was because in telling someone about your plans e.g. "I'm going to go to the gym and get fit", will make that person assume that about you.. 'he's a gym person and therefore fit and healthy', and you will lose your motivation because it's as if you're already at your target when in reality you're not. I guess in the end, being introverted might help!

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