Jason's Blog

(Piano lesson conversation *no. 23*) "Why do I need to sit properly on the stool?" "Because if you don't, it will become a habit and then it will be hard to break" Our lives are a giant summation of all our habits. Our habits develop when we grow up and begin learning things, playing games and generally just doing things. When we make tea in our house in the morning, we walk into the kitchen, open the cabinet to get the cup, get the tea-bag, boil the water, open the fridge, get the milk, etc. without a moments thought. Try making a cup of tea in someone else's home and you'll be scrambling around thinking about where things are and it will no doubt take you longer. Most people can read, calculate, speak, run, catch a ball, throw a ball, etc. Habits that most people possess and share. Some people choose to go for a run every day, go the gym in the morning, make a healthy breakfast, partake in a certain sport. Few people possess habits that are trul...

When a close friend has had something unfortunate happen to them, how easy was it to sympathise with their suffering? Probably quite easy. What about when something good happened? Was it as easy to sympathise with the success as it was with the suffering? True individualism comes from having the most open of open minds and a freedom of thought. Always aim to be an individualist.

I would describe myself as a chronic introvert. I don't enjoy the limelight because of a combination of modesty and humbleness ingrained into me during childhood and personality-wise just shyness and awkwardness. I have observed many people during my life that I find have similar characteristics, and many people as well that are totally opposite, have no problem with conversation and are generally more extroverted and confident. Does that mean these people will be more successful than me? To be successful (in anything), one must have belief in themselves and have a certain level of confidence about themselves. So we can assume this to be a key factor. Does that confidence need to shown externally? Or can it be an internal desire and passion that people don't know about? In classrooms, for many years, children have been told about how special and unique they all are, and how we can do whatever we want and be whatever we want. I believe this to be the reason for a supposed g...

I was teaching piano to a child a few weeks ago when the child started panicking and being distressed when she kept on making mistakes or couldn't play something. When I assured her that everyone makes mistakes - even me! - she refused to believe me saying, "But teachers never make mistakes."  I was surprised, to say the least, and then after the lesson, I thought back to when I was a child, and what my perception of adults, teachers and parents were. I remember thinking that adults had life sorted out, they had an answer to every question, and that one day, I would be like them. Never did I have a question to which they didn't have an answer for, whether or not their answer truly answered my question or not. No one ever said the words, "You know what, Jason? I don't know."  This, in itself, manifests a huge problem for children growing up with incorrect expectations of other  people and ultimately, themselves as they get older, and strive for t...

There are 7.6 billion people on earth. In our lifetime, we will probably only meet and interact with around 50,000 people, give or take a few thousand. This number is likely to have increased over time, given improvements in transport as well as affordability/accessibility, improved technology and a wider use of social media.  It is quite overwhelming to think of how many people are out there who could potentially be your friends or your partner, and yet, the circle of people we know is a tiny fraction of 7.6 billion. Furthermore, within your circle of people there is an even smaller circle that you actually consider and recognise as your friends and who you interact with frequently.  There's always someone better suited to being your friend or someone better suited to being your partner. So why do we settle for what we've got when there's a whole world of new people to meet?  Firstly, I think that people are a lot more similar to one another than we think, w...

Composure: the state or feeling of being calm and in control of oneself. Growing up, I can think of many situations where in hindsight, I could have had more composure; some self-control. I think back to incidents such as losing my temper and getting into fights in school after being riled up by bullies. I think of the many times I have felt angry or upset if something went against me and I've let it ruin the remainder of that day, by acting stand-offish and feeling indignant all the time, even just feeling sorry for myself. As the years passed, I learnt to control myself in difficult situations, reacting by not reacting, keeping calm and measured. I figured this was the best way to deal with difficult situations where someone overcome with emotion would struggle and make the situation a lot worse.  In more recent times, I have required composure for very different things. Less about interactions with other people, and more to do with the things I enjoy doing. I have found...

If people could choose one thing to have more of, I'm sure 'time' would probably be one of the answers, along with things like money, friends, etc.  Throughout life, we are subject to many time pressures placed upon us by teachers, bosses, parents and even society. From homework deadlines, work deadlines, expectations from parents, and expectations from our society.  Often we do things because we want to do it. If there's a book that we want to read, we will probably pick it up and finish it in one week. However, if there's a book that we don't want to read but we are told to read it within one week by a teacher, we will probably leave it till the last day to try and skim-read through it. Give us a month, and we will probably only pick it up in the last week.  It's clear that if we don't want to do something, we will probably put it off until we think we are getting close to the 'deadline' of doing it.  We often look to our peers, ...

The human mind tends to categorise people into social groups. This makes sense if you think back to tribal times when it was beneficial to perceive unfamiliar people as a threat and treat them as such for protection and security. However, we still see a lot of 'them vs us' group thinking going on nowadays which can irrationally and unecessarily divide people.  I was watching Liverpool beat Manchester City 3-0 the other day when I saw what happened before the match; Liverpool fans all lined up on the streets in crowds, hurling abuse and throwing objects at the Man City coach with the City players and staff inside. To me, this was the epitome of animalistic human 'them vs us' behaviour.  We are all exposed to group thinking in many different forms. For example, the days we were in school, there were likely to have been different cliques forming within class. In politics, we have different parties to associate with. In sport, it's our team against their team. ...

We live on average 80 years. The first 20 years are spent in education. The next 40 or so are spent working. And let's say the last 20 are spent in retirement.  Throughout the first 20 years of our lives we are guided and told what to do every day of our life, by the adults around us that guide us; typically our parents and teachers. We are told that in life we can be whatever we want, only if we make the right choices and follow the right paths.  I can't help but think: How far should we look into the future; Should I be concentrating on tomorrow or today: Should I have a 'plan b' or will that only distract me from 'plan a'; Where is this cut-off point; Will thinking about the future distract me from the present? This post is quite useless. Most people, I think, take each day as it comes, and if they do have a goal in mind, they will take the steps they feel necessary to achieve that. But without a goal, what can you do but ponder about the future,...

How often do you hear people talking badly about someone behind their back, and then when they're actually with that person, you couldn't possibly believe they would harbour those kind of thoughts about them if you didn't know any better? Probably quite often is my answer. I have always found it interesting that people find it so hard to be absolutely truthful and honest about what they think of other people. Maybe it's because they know that their opinion won't mean much to the other person and it's just an easy way of making conversation with another person to talk about other people. Perhaps it's a matter of being diplomatic; not because you agree, but because you don't want to disagree and cause problems. It is important to be polite and respectful, obviously, but where does diplomacy between two people turn into insincerity? 

Recently, I have seen Facebook posts written by students anonymously to other students, berating those that take up a place at a top-class, prestigious university with their primary objective to do as well as they can, get as best a job they can afterwards, and make as much money as possible with that job. They are accused of taking the place of a student that has an actual passion or love for that subject.  Now, my problem with this is that I don't know why someone feels it is their place to tell someone how they should live their life and what their aspirations and motivations should be, and secondly, there really is no right way to live! I mean, of course, we have laws and regulation governing what we can and cannot do, but to say that someone shouldn't have a place at university because their motivations lie too far off someone else's moral compass?!  Yes, perhaps the world would be a happier place if people all studied the subjects they loved, not the ones tha...

So what if we cannot motivate ourselves? How do we get things done? At the age of 17 I achieved ABRSM Diploma in piano performance. This meant that I had spent the majority of my life practising piano, racking up hours upon hours of piano playing from my early childhood and throughout my teenage years. They say it takes 10,000 hours of practice for someone to master a skill, and I have no doubt that I am probably not there yet, but will at least have spent more time than the average 19 year old, honing and developing a skill.  So how did I motivate myself to practise everyday from the age of six? The answer is: I didn't. Rather, my 'wannabe tiger-mum' mother sat me down everyday and made sure I did my practice and did everything my teacher told me to do. Did I enjoy this? No. In fact I remember crying on many occasions and telling my mum that I wanted to quit. She never let me, and more importantly, I never let myself. Perhaps having an older sister who was better ...

If everyone could have one quality when it comes to getting work done, what would it be? The number one, majority answer would probably be 'motivation'.  Teaching children and being a student myself, I know that one of the greatest barriers to learning and acquiring new skills is the ability to be motivated. But where should motivation come from? The pupil, or the teacher? Or perhaps both?  Many students lose sight of what they are learning in the classroom and develop an apathetic attitude towards the subjects that they study, because they simply cannot motivate themselves to do so. Is that because they don't know why they are studying what they are studying, or perhaps because being tested on the subjects they are studying makes it seem as though they are only doing it because they have to, making it a chore? How many times did someone ask, "Will this be on the test?". And if the answer was "No." did anyone take a second look at it? The domin...

Ceteris Paribus: all other things being equal.  This Latin term used in economics is a short-hand way to explain certain economic ideas in an isolated context, in order to understand two different variables and their relationship in as simple terms as possible.  For example, let's say the price of beef goes up, Ceteris Paribus (all other things being equal), you would expect the demand for beef to go down. That is quite simple. However, in reality, there are many other economic factors to consider which makes a clear analysis very difficult. Ceteris Paribus is, therefore, a rather big assumption to make, and one which does not reflect truly on the complexity of reality, but rather, acts as a means of applying certain analytical models.  We analyse so much in our everyday lives, be it our relationships, other people's relationships, the academic articles we study, the stock market, historical events, and so on and so forth.  How much do w...

When I was a young, my parents would often be at work until very late every night (restaurant business), which left me and my sister in the care of either my paternal grandparents, my father's uncle and aunt, or my mother's parents if they came over from Hong Kong.  One thing I remember clearly from my maternal grandfather was that every night that he kindly cooked for me and my sister, he would make sure we ate every grain of rice from the bowl before we could finish, leaving nothing to waste. If we didn't, he would tell us about one of two stories. Either reminding us of children in the poorest parts of the world that have nothing to eat every day, or a story about his own childhood which consisted of working hard at a young age for money and food and living through tough war times.  Now I'm not condoning this kind of guilt-tripping, but in a way, it worked! It lead me to realise from a young age, just how lucky I was to be born into the circumstances I was. ...

I read a story once about a professor who had a book, and with this book he held it up in front of the whole class and said,  "Hands up if you think this book is green."   The whole class put their hand up.  "Hands up if you think the book is red."  Only the professor put up his hand.  It doesn't take a genius to figure out that on one side of the book it's green and on the other side of the book it's red...but the point is that they were both right, and yet from the other side's perspective they were both wrong.  Have a think about how many debates or arguments you have had that have resulted in either you or your opposing party saying, "Actually yeah, I think you may have it right and I'm wrong." Probably seldom, if at all.  Often, the best-case scenario of conflict is compromise. But we all know too well it can often end in a falling out. Perspective in argument is therefore key to prevent misunderstandings, prom...

Are people looking? Are people judging? Chances are, they're probably not. That is, unless, you truly are meant to be the centre of attention. People spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think of them, when in reality, people are more likely to be in exactly the same position, worrying about themselves and what other people think of them. So why do we let ourselves be crippled with this irrational fear and uncontrollable state of self-consciousness? Probably because given the chance, we judge other people in a way we wouldn't like to be judged ourselves. This is starting to sound contradictory, but it is something to be aware of...

For many, escapism comes in many different forms. Following on from the previous post, work, is perhaps the biggest form of escapism. Burying yourself in as much of whatever escapism as possible means that you can avoid life's biggest questions: questions about your relationships, your happiness, your existence and so on. Forms include partying, playing games, watching films/series, reading novels, playing sports and music. Perhaps even religion is a form of escapism for people. Everyone has their own form of escapism, and the truth is, it's probably what keeps everyone from going insane. 

Our society is obsessed with growth and output; we like to keep busy. That's how we've come so far with technology and infrastructure. If we are not doing something, we feel unproductive and wasteful, yet many of us often do nothing and therefore feel sad and guilty. Is the obsession with busy-ness linked with happiness? Or perhaps just boredom? If there is a justification for doing something, we are more likely to feel better about doing it than not doing it, but what does that tell us about the actions that we do end up doing? People aren't content with simply 'being', but sometimes, perhaps to everyone's benefit, the whole world can just take a moment, live, breathe, and simply 'be'... 

Is it better to fail, aiming high, or to succeed, aiming low? That is a question no doubt everyone thinks about when starting a new venture. Will this decision change the course of my life? Maybe yes, maybe no.  To try and fail, or to not try at all? To care and lose, or to not care at all?  To speak up and not be heard, or to suffer in silence? They say there are two types of people: those who truly desire success, and those who are trying to avoid failure.  We fear uncertainty and unfamiliarity - outcomes that are not in our control. But the truth is, more often than not, the ball is in our court. We must remember that the only certainty in life is death.

As opposed to a fixed mindset. That is what we are taught to teach children. We are told we must not praise a child for being clever, but we must praise them for working hard. The former results in a fixed mindset that makes them believe their achievement is solely down to their current ability, whereas the latter leads them to believe (and realise in fact) that it is down to the work and effort put in, prior to the achievement. Adults often forget this when learning a new skill or trying to improve upon a certain area. All it takes is the right frame of mind and positive attitude to stop holding yourself back...

What makes someone want to kill another person? There must always be a motive, or an underlying reason... In light of the recent stabbings in London, shootings in America, poisoning in Salisbury, it makes you think of the intention behind them all. Personal vendetta? Sending a message? Or simply to do a job... In any case, to take the life of another human being is possibly the biggest power an individual can possess. Perhaps therein lies the answer...?